The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The problem now is that the successful film formula revolves around nostalgia, rehashing familiar sequences and storylines, and bringing back survivors for one final confrontation. This has all proven to crush the box office, especially during the pandemic. This results in there being no originality or creativity anymore; it’s just a repetition of what we’ve already seen. Until Leatherface can get a fresh face to wear, the _Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ franchise is doomed to run in circles with a sputtering chainsaw on a mostly deserted road no one wants to travel down. **Full review:** https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Texas-Chainsaw-Massacre-2022-Review-Tearing-the-Face-Off-of-a-Horror-Franchise

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is a film I was looking forward to for a while, although I wasn't sure why. I had been very disappointed in the last couple additions to the TCM franchise, so I knew it was very likely that it would not be any different with this one. I watched the film the day it came out, and received exactly what I expected, I didn't like it. I liked it more than I expected, yes, but still not enough. The acting was lacking, the premise was stupid, and it killed off the beloved legacy character in the most insulting way possible. The only redeeming aspects of the movie are the nice-looking cinematography and the amazing gore. However, I am looking forward to seeing the next one, and I have no idea why. 3.5/5.

The original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre actually predated the original Halloween by four years, but now it’s the former’s turn to follow in the footsteps of the latter, resulting in a case of the blind leading the blind. This new Texas Chainsaw Massacre takes its cues from the recent Halloween and Halloween Kills, going as far as dusting off the franchise’s original Final Girl – the character, that is; Marilyn Burns, the actress who played the first Sally Hardesty, died in 2014, and she certainly is in a better place now (i.e., not in this movie). Generally speaking, though, the only thing that separates this from pretty much every slasher film ever made is that, instead of the usual Dead Teenager Movie, Massacre ‘22 may very well be the first-ever Dead Millennial Movie. Speaking of which the kills, which have the power to save even the most generic and derivative of horror sequels, are another disappointment; only the first one, involving a very creative use of the bone shard sticking out of a compound fracture, shows any ingenuity. The best thing that can be said of this uninspired effort is that it’s short (shorter still considering that about 10 of its 81 minutes are devoted to the closing credits); then again, any movie is bound to be brief that lacks a proper conclusion – and I’m not referring to the fact that when Sally, who has been hunting Leatherface down “for more than 30, 40 years”, finally has him cornered, she apparently decides, all of a sudden, that after having waited multiple decades for this moment, she might as well wait a bit longer; after all, what’s another five more minutes between old friends? This is excruciatingly stupid, but if the movie ended there it wouldn't be any more unsatisfying than the actual ending. And the worst that can be said of TCM ‘22 is that it has the gall to draw a parallel between the titular chainsaw massacre and a high school shooting (“Stonebrook High”, which sounds very uncomfortably like Stoneman Douglas High School), as if a dumb movie that deals in gratuitous violence and doesn’t even have the decency to provide a cathartic resolution could ever find a way to connect emotionally to the victims of a real-life massacre. This is low, even by exploitation cinema’s sub-standards.

Found out that Elsie Fisher and I were born exactly one year apart, weird. Cool movie though!

The reluctant "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" franchise gets yet another reboot/reimagining/sequel, but this time they go the Halloween/Kills/Ends route and bring back a surviving character from the original film. Things don't work out as well here as they did for the "Halloween" series. Four idealistic, or naive?, friends purchase a ghost town in Texas. They plan on renovating the entire town, and turning it into a progressive haven where they can save the world. Sisters Melody (Sarah Yarkin) and Lila (Elsie Fisher), and couple Dante (Jacob Latimore) and Ruth (Nell Hudson) have run-ins with local law enforcement and some town hangers-on, with the film makers casting aspersions immediately- the Gen Z/millenials are portrayed as wide-eyed and woke, while the Texans encountered are a bunch of drawling, gun-toting racists. Lila was injured in a school shooting, and Melody hovers over her constantly. The group hear the tale of Leatherface from the 1974 original film, and we learn that the final surviving girl from that film, Sally (Olwen Fouere, taking the role originated by the late Marilyn Burns), became a Texas Ranger and is currently waiting for the call that her archnemesis may still be found since the murders of her friends are officially listed as "unsolved." The group arrives in the ghost town to wait for a busload of investors, and find that an old lady (Alice Krige) and her adopted son (Mark Burnham) are still living in an abandoned orphanage. The ghost town is going to get renovated by one man, Richter (Moe Dunford), who doesn't take to the group. Leatherface finally makes a questionable appearance, there's a lot of questions throughout, and the carnage begins. The timeline for the TCM franchise is even more convoluted than the Halloween franchise. The film is barely over eighty minutes long, so there isn't a lot of character development or legacy building, although I did see director Garcia paying tribute to some other famous slasher films here and there. The script tries to inject something different into its story, addressing the influencer craze without going overboard with it. Garcia's direction works with well with the film's editing, and this is a tightly shot flick, although Bulgaria makes a lousy substitute for the Lone Star state- I'm a fourth generation born Texan, and know my birth state pretty well. The problem here is, of course, the script. Characters not only make bad decisions, they make idiotic decisions that literally get themselves and others killed. While some of them evolve and put up a fight against Leatherface, they also open themselves up to their own demise because if they didn't, the movie would be even shorter. The gore and violence is over the top, and I was very surprised that it got an (R) rating. The special effects are very well done, but also very convincing, to the point that this isn't a "fun" horror film. "Terrifier" was also a gory slasher/horror film, but it had tension and suspense. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" has little tension, and viewers asking aloud "why did they just do that?!" instead. One set-piece on a bus was probably set up as the be-all end-all of gruesome mass murder, but it becomes a nihilistic exercise in tedium. In this day and age, it's sad that we've become so numb, this is considered entertainment to be "enjoyed" again and again, considering that the original film, aside from one of the greatest titles of all-time, wasn't as gory as you would expect. I think it's okay to finally put this franchise to rest, it debuted on streaming because of some disastrous pre-release screenings so don't look for it on physical media anytime soon. I didn't hate it as much as some viewers and critics did; I guess I'm old school, looking for the horror in my horror films.